The Queen, Dysfunctional Masculine & The Little Girl

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By Uma Sanghvi

Uma Sanghvi helps people release fear & anxiety, connect with their Higher Self wisdom and live a radiant life of rest and joy.

Today I’m sharing an interview with brilliant life coach Linda Katz, who helps women access their intuition and embrace their wild feminine energy.

In the mind-body coaching world, we see the “self” in terms of these four aspects: the body, the mind, the emotions and intuition. It helps us to make sense of the complexity of being human.



Linda talks about the self in terms of masculine and feminine energy. In particular, she talks about three “characters” that run the show at different times and in VERY different ways – the dysfunctional masculine, the “little girl” and the wise woman. I love this framework. As you’ll see, the wisdom of the body — which is where intuition lives — is at the heart of Linda’s approach to coaching.

When we navigate our lives from intuition, trusting that inner voice, magical things unfold.



At a glance, here are the three energies that show up in our lives:


  • Stuck in the realm of thinking
  • Imposes the mind on the body
  • Lives by rigidity and discipline
  • Perfectionism
  • Separates and labels the world — “this is good” “this is bad”
  • Believes that to produce is to be of value
  • Believes that to do is to be of value
  • When not “doing”, numbs out with food, Netflix, drink, etc. instead of non-doing (being)
  • Being with others is activity-based
  • Wears busyness as a badge of honor
  • Pushes and forces which leads to burnout
  • Rigid and structured
  • Goal-oriented: believes that as long as we do enough, we will get what we want
  • Overwork, illness, losing relationships – none of this matters in service of the end goal
  • Decision-making happens from the neck up (without intuition)
  • Decision-making looks like making endless pro and con lists
  • Defines power as having power over others


  • The shadow of the dysfunctional masculine
  • As we transition out of dysfunctional masculine energy, the little girl shows up
  • The seed of feminine power
  • Soft and vulnerable
  • When it feels too vulnerable, she retreats back to the familiar — the perfectionist, the do-er
  • Has a deep seated fear of not being enough, not being worthy, not being good
  • Externally oriented
  • People-pleasing
  • Craves praise from others to validate self-worth
  • Chameleon: shows up differently to different people, based on their expectations
  • Has controlling energy, grasping energy
  • Feels responsible for other people’s emotional state
  • Exhausted
  • Doesn’t let people know what she likes and doesn’t like — which leads to boundary violation
  • Resents others for violating her boundaries


  • Also called The Wise Woman
  • The Queen sources internally
  • Shares openly of herself
  • Not trying to prove anything to anyone
  • Comfortable in her own skin
  • The Queen is embodied and follows her deep impulses
  • Knows her body is the source of intuition
  • Values her own experience and knowledge
  • Knows the fire she has walked through to get here has purified her
  • Owns that her path is her own unique medicine
  • Dances with the healthy masculine – the masculine is her arms and legs
  • The healthy masculine carries her message out into the world. It doesn’t squash it.
  • Values her own truth over needing other people to like her
  • The Queen has integrated The Little Girl. She hears her fears (“what if they don’t like me?”) but The Little Girl doesn’t drive the car anymore. The Queen is at the wheel.
  • She is at home in her body so she knows when a boundary has been crossed – in the moment
  • The Queen is creative, not reactive


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Many thanks to Wise Woman Linda Katz for sharing her wisdom! You can find her online right here.



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